There are a lot of questions you have to ask yourself as you grow older. A couple of those could be: “What do you want out of life?” and “How do you plan to get it?” or maybe even more importantly “Who ARE you?” To most of these I’ll tell you I have no idea. Absolutely no idea! And yet here I am giving advice.
At the start of this exercise I, in true Taylor fashion, have no plans but I do have a goal, to get a little bit closer to who I am and to try to set a long term goal. Oh yeah, and stick to that goal!
In school I was never that goal oriented. School tormented me and all I wanted to do was to get though the pain one day at a time. I was so insanely miserable. I went though a deal of trauma that I don’t care to bring up but it changed me. Any progress that I had made on my self confidence was shattered. And here I was, back at square one, trying to get up and continue my fight. So you can imagine with all of this on my mind I never really thought to make long term goals. When senior year came around I was told one thing by pretty much everyone. “Go to college or you’ll never amount to anything.” And stubborn little me said back, “No, this is my life and I’m going to succeed without college.” And so the fight began. Another long term goal avoided and more judgement from both my father and my friends.
With school behind me I went to work. My fear of financial struggle caused me so much distress that I instantly got a full time job and I refused to leave it. All I did was hoard my money for fear I wouldn’t have enough to live. After 5 years with the company I finally said “enough” and I quit. With no back up, stupid yes I know. It breaks my heart to see my father so ashamed with me. He has this look of complete disappointment in his eyes and he says that my grandpa would be in complete disapproval. The complete lack of support from my closest family members makes this transition even harder. With so much saved in the bank I’m still seen as a disappointment. Well, who knew!
Wait, this is about you not me! Okay yes I’m the least bit qualified to say anything that holds any weight in your life but I want to tell you no matter what you do I support you. For every choice you think about and make, I support you. I know that doesn’t mean much but I know life can be hard especially when you’re trying to find new things you might like to do with your like and keep at the speed of everyone else. Take it from me, if you really don’t like that major in college, change it! If you hate that job and you just want to open up that little business, then do it! I don’t care who says it’s a stupid, reckless, financially risky decision! I just want you to be happy with you and when your heart is in it you’ll see the difference it makes.
Sorry about such a heavy post this week but I feel it had to be said! So don’t forget to follow me here and on all of my socials down below for more tough love and life changing decisions. I’ll make sure to keep you all updated on future revelations!
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Talk to y’all soon!
~Taylor
Anxious & Hungry 