Hi again! I bet y’all forgot I existed!
I haven’t made my New Years resolution yet and it’s February (but honestly what’s new). This year is going to be rough, I can already feel it in my bones. But with rough years there has to come incredible rewards, right? I’m so ready for that! So what’s in store for this year you may ask? Sadly, I can’t give you a straight answer. I’m just trying to best myself every year, even if it’s just by a little. I think I’ll beat my travel record from last year which, in my mind, isn’t a really big success. The world has slowly destroyed the gratification I get out of the small successes. I hope I’m not the only one in that boat! All I do is compare my little win to the remarkable feet of the people around me. This year I’m going to try and look past what everyone else is doing. I’m going to travel more than I ever have and it won’t be for anyone else but for me. Surprisingly, I find happiness creating things that some people call “content.” I want to see more of the world than what I’ve already seen. I couldn’t stand the thought of dying before I see as much as I can.
With everything I’ve seen myself accomplish each year I still catch myself slowly drifting into a depressed ball of goo on the floor. Thanks social media! I’ve become consumed by the crazy life I see all of my past classmates living. It’s easy for me to see all these influencers flaunting a completely fake lifestyle because most of the time it’s just that: Fake. I don’t feel crushing inadequacy by the success of that type of person. I’m that weirdo that feels destroyed by another engagement announcement. Or I’m just staring at another new puppy announcement the day I put down my family dog of 15 years. Yes, this year has already been pretty rough.
It seems that depression forces people right back into their bed on a daily basis. As much as I hate most social interaction I find myself missing the voices of other people. Correction: The voices of people that aren’t my family. Sorry family! But other than trying to find a distraction (that’s not running a business) I have to plan and then over-plan my future trips. I have a feeling there is more to come. Depressing tangent over, I promise!
So, what’s my point here?
I’m not head over heels in love with the thought of having a yearly resolution that 9 time out of 10 I never accomplish. My super competitive personality makes me compare every day’s failures with everyone else’s best days. Then I begin to form my goals around everyone else and their accomplishments. What do I want? Most of the time I don’t really know! This year I’m going to dedicate more time to figuring out what makes me feel gratified because posting on here ranting away all of my chaotic thoughts is somehow a little big gratifying. So I challenge you to think about what makes you feel gratified in life and comment it down below! It doesn’t have to be anything crazy elaborate. More progress will come to us when we write it down. (Have you ever heard of the Law of Attraction?)
So that’s really all for today. I’m truly sorry about my ADHD rant. If you enjoy my scatterbrained tendencies make sure to follow me here and on all of my socials down below! I’m pretty sure their will me many more rants in the future!
Talk to y’all soon!